Ben and I wanted to write to say thank you so much for guiding us so brilliantly to give our second child the welcome into the world that we wanted.
Our daughter Lou was born on thursday morning, at home, in the water, just as we had envisaged, but actually the reality was far better than we could have hoped for. For me, the fear of repeating any part of the 4-day labour and epidural/forceps birth of our first daughter 9 years ago was strong, especially the fear of tearing badly again. But trusting in the information and wisdom of you and your hypnobirthing course, and practising together with Ben every day for the last month of my pregnancy, meant I didn’t tear at all this time.
On Wednesday last week, the day before our “due date” it was half term. A friend had our other daughter to play in the morning, I relaxed at home, and then we all met for a fun family music performance in the afternoon (run by the charity I work for), with lots of singing and dancing. After that I drove my daughter to her cousin’s for a sleepover, returned home and went to my usual pregnancy pilates class. we went to bed and I woke up about 12.30 and my waters passed in the bathroom. Surges followed not long after and we played the ultimate birth relaxation audio in the bedroom, and with each surge Ben talked me through the up breathing and rubbed my sacrum (both of which helped so much) as I lay on my side. There were some moments I felt overwhelmed by the surges if I was on my way to or from the bathroom at the time, but ben always guided me back to the breathing and it got easier and easier to focus on his voice and nothing else, and trust my body and the process as the night went on.
Midwives came at 1.30am, they pottered about a bit, but my surges were still irregular so they left again. Ben and I continued together and between surges he would rush downstairs to check on the progress of the pool. He didn’t miss one surge and I felt so supported by him. After a while, probably 3-4hours, which passed very quickly, I felt something change and my body felt the need to move things down very strongly. I was still on our bed, but had moved position to kneeling up against the back of the bed which felt more comfortable as things had clearly shifted to moving downwards. Ben called the midwives to return.
The midwives arrived around 6.30am. Ben helped me to go downstairs between surges and I knelt over the back of the sofa. The pool was still not hot enough so I stayed on the sofa for a while longer. Each surge now came with a very strong need to push down, but I also sensed a slowing or resistance in me… I think I was waiting for the pool. Eventually the pool was ready and Ben and the midwife helped me to get in. As soon as i entered the water, everything felt aligned in my body and now with each surge and downwards movement, I could feel how my body and the baby’s body were working perfectly together. Ben was still right with me holding me as I lent over the side of the pool. And the midwife was gently reassuring me with each surge which was very welcome – she was talking at a normal level but to me it sounded like a whisper on my periphery, and I think this came from the lovely, clear focus that I had on Ben and his voice guiding me with my breath.
With each slow downward surge I could feel the baby moving down. I had time and space to enjoy the breaks between surges and to let my body gently and slowly open in its own time, with the baby. At one point between surges the baby brought itself out a little further on its own, helping me along, getting ready. It all felt completely calm and incredible. Then I felt the baby’s head with my hand, connecting with my baby as she prepared to enter the water. Slowly but surely the baby arrived and I brought her up to me.
Our baby was born at 8.24am in the calm and she was peaceful and tranquil and completely present with us from the second she arrived. She just gazed up at us and the world with huge open eyes.
We will never forget this most incredible, life-changing experience that we shared together, thanks to you, and your belief, faith and confidence in the power of women to birth their own children naturally and calmly and with such dignity. You gave us such a gift by sharing your experience and wisdom and trust in birth. Thank you so much.
Your course also gave us the confidence and ability to decline or delay certain measures that the midwives and professionals suggested at different points of pregnancy, birth and postnatally. For us this included waiting for the cord to go white before cutting it, and declining the injection to speed up the birth of the placenta to give me the time and space I wanted to birth my placenta myself (which took an hour).
And you were so right, it was much quicker than we had even imagined, and if everything had been in order with the pool, I have no doubt I could have given birth even sooner. But it didn’t matter that the pool wasn’t ready sooner, because of the techniques you gave us 🥰
Thank you thank you a hundred times over Katharine. You have given such lovely bounty to our whole family.
What a wonderful story from Alexa, I couldn’t be happier to read about Lou’s amazing and calm birth.
Find out more about my KG Hypnobirthing courses here. I would love to meet you!
Katharine x
